Oh my, how things change. In my day, friends simply did not hug. Nowadays? Hugs galore.
But what is a hug and how does one give a decent hug?
To clasp or hold closely, especially in the arms, as in affection; embrace.
to put your arms around someone especially as a way of showing love or friendship. : to hold (something) tightly with your arms. : to stay close to ( something).
so, closely and tightly seem to be how it’s done. Cheek-only contact doesn’t qualify as a hug.
This gives some insight in to what I consider acceptable hugging.
Also, I have an ex-colleague who gave me the following hug-instructions:
* feet hip-width apart, bending slightly at the knees
* pull the hugee in, knees between thighs, and get full frontal contact. ( meaning knee to ear full-frontal)
* arms can mainly go wherever they feel comfortable; neck or waist.
* lean in and settle down for a lengthy hug, relax into it.
and for the record, he did give a very decent and comfortable hug. M-m-mmmm……
Now. The way youngsters, and many other Norwegians hug is simply by the cheek to cheek method, with a quick pat on the back thrown in for good measure. I’m not a fan. As established above: a hug is a tight and close encounter, i.e. Full frontal contact
There are now 5-five people I feel comfortable giving a hug, and then I mean a PROPER hug. My grandson, my 3 kids, and one girlfriend.
Whether or not I hug you does not stand in reference as to how well we know each other or if I like you or not.
Do NOT mistake my resistance to hugging as a sign of intimacy issues. I can be pretty darned intimate and affectionate, but preferably on my terms and not in the middle of the friggin’ street!!
Oh, by the way, hugging me, without asking, even though you might know how uncomfortable I am with it, isn’t that just the teeniest bit rude?