- Dating is not my favourite pastime.
- Subtle hints fly right by me.
- Flirting is something I have never mastered.
So now that you have a general idea, let me tell you about my latest adventure on the town.
A birthday party first, where we had some wine and a mojito and some more wine. Getting to just the right level of tipsy before going in to town to maybe dance a bit before hitting the sack.
Which I did. Get a dance, that is. With a man with good arms, decent height and seemed polite enough. It certainly did feel good to get a little cuddle on the dance floor.
Have you ever talked to someone, had a decent sized a-ha moment, “really?! Is that true?! OMG I didn’t know that!” kind of moment. You know; the you-learn-something-new-everyday kind of conversation. Well, I had one of those with a random man. And now I can’t remember what we were talking about. At all. Not a chance.
And now the fun starts. I saw a man I met last time I was out, but we didn’t hit it off. Looked at him and said “I know you. We met a few weeks ago”
“Yeah, we did. I’ve been thinking about you ever since.” he said. Yeah, right, I thought.
Chit chat about this and that, the bar closed, and we were off to an after-party on a boat, with this guy tagging along.
I was so pretty, and he had thought of me often, and he wanted to get to know me and all the regular shit people say.
More wine, and I thought “What the heck, I’ll try him “on” for size” and so we kissed a couple of times. Tongue and all.
And I have to say this, I gave it a good shot. I did try to really immerse myself in the moment. Waited for something to happen. Something. Anything. Anything at all.
Not a single jingle, shiver, shudder, or goosebumps anywhere. AT ALL. No knees weakening. No toes curling.
But this guy was asking to come home with me.
Just to wait for a taxi.
Just for a glass of water, while he waited for the taxi.
Anyway, we ended up walking to the taxi-stand together, and here’s where the fun starts….
“You changed during the night”
“Okay” (I discovered there was NO chemistry, so, yeah….)
“Just so you know, your mate from last time said making a move on you was about as easy as making a move on a stone”
“Oh, okay” (me, with a slight shoulder shrug)
And the parting words:
“And you’re really pretty ugly, too”
“Really” (me, slightly stunned)
Now, I’m not a beauty, but ugly? That’s harsh.
Here’s to having kissed my first frog.